BREECH

Just 6 1/2 weeks left to go and this baby is upside-down! And by that I mean head up. Breech. I wasn't worried until the doctor was worried. I've looked up all sort of info on line on how to help your baby flip; I've even emailed my doula about it. I don't dare try ANYTHING yet though, no matter how non-invasive, because there's a huge chance that she could be completely tangled up in the cord, which wouldn't surprise me one bit since I know how much she used to flip around, and how feisty she is. So I must wait until the 6th of July when I'm scheduled for another ultra sound and check up. I desperately want a normal labor/delivery and a perfectly healthy baby this time, but about a month or two ago I had this feeling that I needed to look into epidurals (which I'm terrified of), and learn about how they work, how they're done, and how they could affect me, since I have a pretty awful case of scoliosis. As I did my homework and became more comfortable with the idea, I hoped it would just mean that I would finally be allowed to have a mostly pain free labor/delivery, and get to have the sort of labor/delivery I'd hoped for last time, but as I draw closer to the end of this adventure I'm beginning to realize that I probably had that prompting to learn about epidurals NOT because I might choose to get one, but because I'm probably going to NEED to get one.
When I was pregnant with Annibelle, I KNEW she'd have a heart problem (I was born with one too), and I KNEW she'd be a red-head. I'm grateful I had the good news to go with the bad. I just had no idea how bad her heart condition would be. I've learned that it's SO important to listen to, and follow these promptings; doing so could save a life.
I dread the idea of having to have a c-section, especially with an epidural/while awake. Mentally, I'm not sure I can handle the idea of what they'll be doing WHILE they're doing it! AAAGGGHHHHHH!!!! Plus, I know quite a few people whose epidurals didn't take completely and they felt the scalpel cutting them!!!! (NIGHTMARE!!!) But I know that it's better than being knocked out completely, for me and the baby, and would make it so I could have Peter, or someone in there with me, and I could see, hold and nurse my baby right away, assuming she's healthy. I hate to think of what they'd try to do to her without me awake and thinking clearly for hours! (Bottles... formula...pacifier...shots....). Nope. She's going to need her mommy.
On the bright side, IF I do end up having to schedule a c-section, I won't have to be in labor away from Annibelle for um-teen hours. I'll be able to plan around the time/date. I DON'T want to spend 4 days instead of 1 or 2 two in that TINY broom closet of a room, but if this could mean saving mine and my baby's life, then I guess I'll just have to make the most of it.
I'm still praying for her to flip, though.